Mike Slive answers all your questions

https://twitter.com/#!/Dave_Matter/status/184697339557060609

“Slive” is SEC Commissioner Mike Slive, who has what I consider to be the greatest job of all time.

Defining Hope, Obama Style

This appeared yesterday on Barack Obama’s tumblr.

TWSS

I wouldn’t think this would appear in any definition of hope. It would, however, be one of the more common ways to define faith, as in: “I have faith that the outcome I hope for will come to pass, even though it appears unlikely at the moment.” In the sense that the Obama campaign uses the word, which is that hope is the embodiment of a better tomorrow through Barack Obama and the ideals it represents, I suppose it works well, and as a quote from a speech of which I am not aware (which is what the tumblr post it comes from seems to imply it is) it is quite good.

Of course being a juvenile at heart I can’t get past the phallic connotations.

Via h/t MAS

YO DAWG

I herd you like brackets…

March Madness Everything

BE AFRAID

Basketball is dumb. We know this, and I feel your pain. But the tournament setup is awesome, and this time of year people are setting up tournaments for just about everything, which is pointless and fun. Let’s take a look at some of my favorites right now:

The SBNation animated gif bracket. My internet browsing breaks down like this: politics: 15%, sports: 15%, music: 15%, other: 5%, searching for animated gifs: 50%. They’re pretty much the reason I’m here. This is worth checking out for the Toronto Raptors mascot rollerblading gif alone.

Garden and Gun ultimate southern food bracket. Garden and Gun is great, you guys. You can argue about the seeding (Cosmicjoker personal favorite Fried Okra as a 16 seed is getting PUNISHED by Pulled Pork) but it definitely is an interesting conversation piece. (h/t to MAS on this one)

I think I had something else but I appear to have closed the tab and forgotten what it was. Oops. Enjoy.

YES

HA HA HA HA HA HA

Guys your Facebook posts aren’t going to magically transport Joseph Kony to the Hague, as much as we wish they would. Support for Carl Weathers, on the other hand, is always encouraged.

Sunday Song

Thanks to a conversation on 80s music last night I have the song “Good Girls Don’t” by The Knack stuck in my head. Now you do too. Enjoy this beautiful Selection Sunday/Kobalt Tools 400.

But does he like driving in his truck?

And much more importantly, does he know that Auburn sucks?

h/t SBJ

ugggh

(This piece began life as a late night email to MAS, inspired by this tweet)

Sid Meier’s Colonization: Is it offensive enough?

This piece is profoundly annoying on its own merits. I find it hard to believe that the author is so genuinely offended by Sid Meier’s Colonization, a game which should keep you too busy doing thankless micromanaging to experience the “guilt” the author describes. But what really drives it over the edge for me is his misuse of the abbreviation “cf.” (which should only be used when inviting the reader to compare something to something else, and not, as he is using it, as a substitute for see).

VONTAZE

Most readers probably know that the NFL Combine has been going on since Wednesday, which gives people like me an opportunity to gorge ourselves on the football we so crave. It also gives us an opportunity to engage in rampant, virtually consequence-free speculation about people we’ve never met (YAY!). There are so many questions: Why didn’t Alshon Jeffrey run the 40? How do quarterbacks escape Clemson DE Andre Branch (who, at 6’4″ 259 lbs, ran the 40 in an unofficial 4.62s)? What socks did RG3 wear?

One of the most intriguing characters in this year’s draft is Arizona State linebacker Vontaze Burfict. Huge, physically gifted, and personal foul happy, this time last year Burfict looked poised to become a real top prospect at linebacker, but this year he has seriously underachieved. Taken together with some serious off field and attitude issues and Burfict has become a hard pill to swallow. Now we get this from the always fantastic Bruce Feldman (read the whole thing):

“I wouldn’t touch him,” said one scout. “He does have some talent, but he is so undisciplined on and off the field. The guy is completely out of control. There’s no way you could trust him. I can’t believe they (ASU coaching staff) didn’t cut him loose.”

Wow. Strong words. We’ll be watching with interest, but you guys probably already knew that.

Oscar Snoozefest

So I’m sure none of you guys watched the Oscars last night because there was nothing to get excited about and really who wants to spend three hours watching grandiose people tell each other how great they are. The best things that happened were that Angelina Jolie’s right leg got a twitter account after she struck this ridiculous pose on stage, Jim Rash did this, and Meryl Streep winning best actress. Lets talk about Jolie here; what happened to her? I get that she’s going for glamorous and beautiful, and five (?) years ago I would totally be buying what she’s selling here, but now she looks like she would be sharp if you touched her and maybe she has a device in her basement to extract the blood from young virgin peasants for her bath time needs.

[UPDATE:] LOL