But does he like driving in his truck?

And much more importantly, does he know that Auburn sucks?

h/t SBJ

Crazy Political Ad, or Craziest Political Ad Ever?

This ad for Florida congressional hopeful Mark Oxner has got to be pretty far up there, although we at the Cosmic Joker blog urge you not to forget the strong work done by Herman Cain and his people.

h/t MAS

Debate Drinkin’

In honor of tonight’s  nine hundredth republican debate of this cycle here is a song from the always fantastic Drive-By-Truckers.  Want to know a fun fact about this song — more accurately me? I have done more or less everything in this song. (Replace waking up on the floor with the roof of my car? Check. Although when I shot all the guns my neighbors didn’t call the cops and when I did get those guys called, I hid in a Magnolia Tree. College FTW).

If you feel like starting the first — or fourth or fifth — night of your drinking with what is sure to be a painful, painful debate here is the Joker approved drinking game for this evening’s festivities:

  • Someone Brings Up Swiss/Cayman Bank Accounts – Drink
  • Buffet Rule – Drink (Drink Double if it is a Candidate not the Moderator
  • Santorum Shows Up Wearing a Sweater Vest – Drink until that Seems Reasonable
  • Captain Vest or Ron Paul Complain about not Getting a Question – Finish Your Current Drink
  • Someone Brings Up Reagan – Drink (obviously)
  • Someone Brings up Newt’s Reagan Bashing – Drink
  • Newt Defends it by Attacking Reagan from the Right – Chug  Vodka Until that Seems Reasonable
  • Ron Paul Talks About the Fed Rate – Take a Nap, That Shit is BORING
  • Drink Once for Each Shameless Pander to Florida (You Should Note That Newt has Been Pro Moon Base for Ages)
  • Someone Says “Anchor Baby” – Drink Three; One for Mom, Dad, and the Baby. Four if it was Twins
  • Gingrich Says “Republican Establishment” – Drink
  • Someone Says “Washington” in a Negative Context – Take a Sip (If in a Positive Context? Drink Until it Hurts.)
  • Each Time Gingrich Says “Frankly”, “Shockingly”, “Dramatically”, “Fundamentally”, Or Calls Himself a Viking  – Just Kidding, I don’t Want Anyone to Die

In all seriousness folks, DO NOT play this game. It would probably kill you.

 

MAS

State of the Union

MAS:  have you heard who is sitting with Michelle Obama?
RICHARD:  an admiral?
MAS:  “Osama bin Laden, an astronaut, and a high-ranking gay Air Force intelligence officer are among the guests who    will sit with First Lady Michelle Obama”
whoops
cut from the wrong place
admiral that devised the plan to kill Osama bin Laden…
also Warren Buffets secretary
someone from apple
RICHARD:  way funnier the way you cut it though
The Cosmic Joker blog does not condone State of the Union drinking games, no matter how Joe Biden based they are (Joe Biden looks bored? Start drinking…). We can, however, suggest a nice game of State of the Union bingo.

Jon Huntsman Is Out

😦

So basically it’s Romney now.

Kittens Romney?

“Finally, maybe, just maybe, if we all went back to school, we’d improve our odds of knowing that Mitt Romney’s real first name is neither Gromit (2 percent) nor Mittens (2 percent).”

Solution to the SC voter ID controversy?

“When deputies asked for his ID, he reached inside his Taco Bell bag and pulled out a taco…”
Not sure how useful tacos are for preventing voter fraud, but even the poorest South Carolinians should be able to get one.