Debate Drinkin’

In honor of tonight’s  nine hundredth republican debate of this cycle here is a song from the always fantastic Drive-By-Truckers.  Want to know a fun fact about this song — more accurately me? I have done more or less everything in this song. (Replace waking up on the floor with the roof of my car? Check. Although when I shot all the guns my neighbors didn’t call the cops and when I did get those guys called, I hid in a Magnolia Tree. College FTW).

If you feel like starting the first — or fourth or fifth — night of your drinking with what is sure to be a painful, painful debate here is the Joker approved drinking game for this evening’s festivities:

  • Someone Brings Up Swiss/Cayman Bank Accounts – Drink
  • Buffet Rule – Drink (Drink Double if it is a Candidate not the Moderator
  • Santorum Shows Up Wearing a Sweater Vest – Drink until that Seems Reasonable
  • Captain Vest or Ron Paul Complain about not Getting a Question – Finish Your Current Drink
  • Someone Brings Up Reagan – Drink (obviously)
  • Someone Brings up Newt’s Reagan Bashing – Drink
  • Newt Defends it by Attacking Reagan from the Right – Chug  Vodka Until that Seems Reasonable
  • Ron Paul Talks About the Fed Rate – Take a Nap, That Shit is BORING
  • Drink Once for Each Shameless Pander to Florida (You Should Note That Newt has Been Pro Moon Base for Ages)
  • Someone Says “Anchor Baby” – Drink Three; One for Mom, Dad, and the Baby. Four if it was Twins
  • Gingrich Says “Republican Establishment” – Drink
  • Someone Says “Washington” in a Negative Context – Take a Sip (If in a Positive Context? Drink Until it Hurts.)
  • Each Time Gingrich Says “Frankly”, “Shockingly”, “Dramatically”, “Fundamentally”, Or Calls Himself a Viking  – Just Kidding, I don’t Want Anyone to Die

In all seriousness folks, DO NOT play this game. It would probably kill you.

 

MAS

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State of the Union

MAS:  have you heard who is sitting with Michelle Obama?
RICHARD:  an admiral?
MAS:  “Osama bin Laden, an astronaut, and a high-ranking gay Air Force intelligence officer are among the guests who    will sit with First Lady Michelle Obama”
whoops
cut from the wrong place
admiral that devised the plan to kill Osama bin Laden…
also Warren Buffets secretary
someone from apple
RICHARD:  way funnier the way you cut it though
The Cosmic Joker blog does not condone State of the Union drinking games, no matter how Joe Biden based they are (Joe Biden looks bored? Start drinking…). We can, however, suggest a nice game of State of the Union bingo.

It Gets Scary

SCARY

I, like all intelligent music lovers, have a serious soft spot for Bowie. And how could you not? But back in reality I’m not an expert. So, in trying to write this I continue to come up with bands and artists that either would never have been around with out him. Can you imagine, oh I don’t know, 85% of the New Wave movement with out Bowie. I can’t.

As I said I’ve never claimed to be a Bowie “completist” as it were, so when I sat down and thought about what I could contribute to his — still living — hagiography, the best  I could do was poke around the internet.

So a big H/T to Aquarium Drunkard for pointing me towards what, I hope, is a new find for y’all as well.

Scary Monsters (and Super Creeps) is the first album following the “so called” Berlin trilogy ( Low, “Heroes” and Lodger) and is widely (you can take wildly to mean “me”) considered his the last of his great albums.

That being said, there has been, for ages a grey market bootleg of b-sides and other extravaganza from that era. Having spent the whole day listening to both the official and the bootleg… get to know them both. But there is a reason that this has been floating around since before I was born. It is because it is amazing. Download it. Learn it. Love it.

Goodnight, Sweet Prince

The University of South Carolina’s football team just got 100% less brahsome. Of course when Connor Shaw gets hurt in Starkville this weekend Spurrier will be all like

OK so he’ll probably be like that no matter what happens. Best of luck to Stephen doing whatever it is Sociology majors end up doing.

Solution to the SC voter ID controversy?

“When deputies asked for his ID, he reached inside his Taco Bell bag and pulled out a taco…”
Not sure how useful tacos are for preventing voter fraud, but even the poorest South Carolinians should be able to get one.

Building the perfect Bloody Mary bar

To get all the USC fans out there prepped up for a noon game this weekend.

Don’t be sad if your Bloody Mary bar this weekend isn’t this extensive; I approve of the intemperate excess they’ve got going on here, but really, do you need both steamed oysters AND boiled shrimp on your Bloody Mary bar? As I type this, my stomach says yes. That said, we keep it simple in the Wahnfried household: Clamato, vodka (bacon infused if I’ve got some around), Worcestershire, Old Bay, black pepper, hot sauce of your choice (probably Texas Pete Hotter, but potentially also Cholula or maybe something stronger if I’m feeling adventurous), Pickapeppa sauce, some olive juice and a couple olives. OK, so maybe I don’t keep it that simple. Everything to taste, of course, because that’s the way most of my recipes go (add X to taste, cook until it’s done).

h/t akm

GET OFF MY LAWN

“YOU EVER THROW UP ON A COP? YOU EVER BURN DOWN A 7-11? OF COURSE NOT, YOU’RE ON TUMBLR ALL DAY. PANSY.”

Animals Talking in All Caps makes me pretty happy. Also, I’m fairly certain I know someone with an “And that’s when I threw up on the cop” story, but can’t remember who it is (though I have a pretty good guess). If anybody knows who it was let me know.