But does he like driving in his truck?

And much more importantly, does he know that Auburn sucks?

h/t SBJ

If Google was Scandinavian Fairy Tale

In the Original he was known as GÖG.

MORTAL KOMBAT!!!

BJ: IMPROMPTU STREET JUSTICE.

  i’m going to make an online dating profile
  and under interests
  it will read
 “sexual impromptu street justice”
 MAS: as long as it also includes FINISH HIM Blow Jobs
BJ: step too far, MAS
  oh wait
 “i like long walks on the beach, wine bars, and screaming FINISH HIM before i complete a blow job”
I don’t know about you, but I would respond to that online profile — mostly with fear and trepidation, but no small amount of curiosity and fascination.
MAS

Debate Drinkin’

In honor of tonight’s  nine hundredth republican debate of this cycle here is a song from the always fantastic Drive-By-Truckers.  Want to know a fun fact about this song — more accurately me? I have done more or less everything in this song. (Replace waking up on the floor with the roof of my car? Check. Although when I shot all the guns my neighbors didn’t call the cops and when I did get those guys called, I hid in a Magnolia Tree. College FTW).

If you feel like starting the first — or fourth or fifth — night of your drinking with what is sure to be a painful, painful debate here is the Joker approved drinking game for this evening’s festivities:

  • Someone Brings Up Swiss/Cayman Bank Accounts – Drink
  • Buffet Rule – Drink (Drink Double if it is a Candidate not the Moderator
  • Santorum Shows Up Wearing a Sweater Vest – Drink until that Seems Reasonable
  • Captain Vest or Ron Paul Complain about not Getting a Question – Finish Your Current Drink
  • Someone Brings Up Reagan – Drink (obviously)
  • Someone Brings up Newt’s Reagan Bashing – Drink
  • Newt Defends it by Attacking Reagan from the Right – Chug  Vodka Until that Seems Reasonable
  • Ron Paul Talks About the Fed Rate – Take a Nap, That Shit is BORING
  • Drink Once for Each Shameless Pander to Florida (You Should Note That Newt has Been Pro Moon Base for Ages)
  • Someone Says “Anchor Baby” – Drink Three; One for Mom, Dad, and the Baby. Four if it was Twins
  • Gingrich Says “Republican Establishment” – Drink
  • Someone Says “Washington” in a Negative Context – Take a Sip (If in a Positive Context? Drink Until it Hurts.)
  • Each Time Gingrich Says “Frankly”, “Shockingly”, “Dramatically”, “Fundamentally”, Or Calls Himself a Viking  – Just Kidding, I don’t Want Anyone to Die

In all seriousness folks, DO NOT play this game. It would probably kill you.

 

MAS

It Gets Scary

SCARY

I, like all intelligent music lovers, have a serious soft spot for Bowie. And how could you not? But back in reality I’m not an expert. So, in trying to write this I continue to come up with bands and artists that either would never have been around with out him. Can you imagine, oh I don’t know, 85% of the New Wave movement with out Bowie. I can’t.

As I said I’ve never claimed to be a Bowie “completist” as it were, so when I sat down and thought about what I could contribute to his — still living — hagiography, the best  I could do was poke around the internet.

So a big H/T to Aquarium Drunkard for pointing me towards what, I hope, is a new find for y’all as well.

Scary Monsters (and Super Creeps) is the first album following the “so called” Berlin trilogy ( Low, “Heroes” and Lodger) and is widely (you can take wildly to mean “me”) considered his the last of his great albums.

That being said, there has been, for ages a grey market bootleg of b-sides and other extravaganza from that era. Having spent the whole day listening to both the official and the bootleg… get to know them both. But there is a reason that this has been floating around since before I was born. It is because it is amazing. Download it. Learn it. Love it.

David Bowie’s Crotch

One of the reasons that David Bowie is a favorite here at the Joker is his status as a modern day renaissance man. Not only is he one of the great musicians of our time, but he is also a renowned, actor — see The Hunger, the MAS favorite Labyrinth [we’ll go ahead and call it a TOP PICK -richard], and honorable mention goes to his fictional appearance in the Venture Brothers. Please enjoy this collection of crotch shots from the previously  mentioned Labyrinth — rumor has it that he pushed for it to get a credit but was overruled by the suits at the studio —  while your blog masters work up something with a little more meat on the bone.