Debate Drinkin’

In honor of tonight’s  nine hundredth republican debate of this cycle here is a song from the always fantastic Drive-By-Truckers.  Want to know a fun fact about this song — more accurately me? I have done more or less everything in this song. (Replace waking up on the floor with the roof of my car? Check. Although when I shot all the guns my neighbors didn’t call the cops and when I did get those guys called, I hid in a Magnolia Tree. College FTW).

If you feel like starting the first — or fourth or fifth — night of your drinking with what is sure to be a painful, painful debate here is the Joker approved drinking game for this evening’s festivities:

  • Someone Brings Up Swiss/Cayman Bank Accounts – Drink
  • Buffet Rule – Drink (Drink Double if it is a Candidate not the Moderator
  • Santorum Shows Up Wearing a Sweater Vest – Drink until that Seems Reasonable
  • Captain Vest or Ron Paul Complain about not Getting a Question – Finish Your Current Drink
  • Someone Brings Up Reagan – Drink (obviously)
  • Someone Brings up Newt’s Reagan Bashing – Drink
  • Newt Defends it by Attacking Reagan from the Right – Chug  Vodka Until that Seems Reasonable
  • Ron Paul Talks About the Fed Rate – Take a Nap, That Shit is BORING
  • Drink Once for Each Shameless Pander to Florida (You Should Note That Newt has Been Pro Moon Base for Ages)
  • Someone Says “Anchor Baby” – Drink Three; One for Mom, Dad, and the Baby. Four if it was Twins
  • Gingrich Says “Republican Establishment” – Drink
  • Someone Says “Washington” in a Negative Context – Take a Sip (If in a Positive Context? Drink Until it Hurts.)
  • Each Time Gingrich Says “Frankly”, “Shockingly”, “Dramatically”, “Fundamentally”, Or Calls Himself a Viking  – Just Kidding, I don’t Want Anyone to Die

In all seriousness folks, DO NOT play this game. It would probably kill you.

 

MAS

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